You, Your Brother & Popcorn
by scratchycat
Summary: Yes, it's a variation on the 'you are sucked into the movie' concept, but it's not you who gets to live the dream...UPDATED Chapter 6: Norro!... Please R&R!
1. What the hell

AN: Pirates of the Caribbean belongs to others. I own nothing.  
  
This story is a variation on the Character/YOU stories I've been reading here...I don't know who started the concept but I've 'commandeered' it for this fic! Hope you enjoy!  
  
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You're sitting on the floor of your living room, about a metre or so away from the TV, in your beanbag. You've bought the Pirates of the Caribbean video; you tried talking your parents into the DVD but unfortunately your TV doesn't have the right connections for a DVD player - it's too old. So you're putting up with the video for the time being, although it's a temporary medium and you're sure that your love for this movie will last forever, much longer than that tape will. The movie's been going for a while; you popped the tape in, pressed play and then got up and made some popcorn. You plonk back in your beanbag with the bowl just in time to hear Elizabeth make her comment about the corset being tight. Just then your brother walks into the living room.   
  
"Are you watching this again?" he asks. "Aren't you sick of it already? It's a crap movie anyway."  
  
You're outraged. "You liked it when you saw it at the movies!"  
  
"Yeah, because I was perving on this chick," he says, pointing at Elizabeth talking to Will. "But I dunno why you're watching it again. You're so obsessed."  
  
"No I'm not!" you retort. "I just got this video, it's the first time I've watched it!"  
  
Too late. He's already walking off. It's typical that your brother feigns never liking anything that you like. He's going through that recalcitrant stage that you went through back in Year 9; doesn't like anything you like. He maintains that he watches Buffy with you just for Sarah Michelle Gellar, even though it's obvious from the conversations you've had that he pays some attention to the plot and characters. Anyway, you roll your eyes, hoping this phase won't last too long, and pop a handful of popcorn into your mouth.  
  
Then you nearly choke on it. What the HELL is your brother doing in the movie? You rub your eyes, wondering blearily whether you really ought to get out more, and peer at the screen again. That's definitely him, dressed up as Norrington. And none of the other characters seem to be blinking an eye! You run out of the room and call up the stairs that you saw your brother disappearing up two seconds ago. No answer. You run into his room - luckily he hasn't locked the door like he usually does - and he's not there. Cool. Maybe he's been sucked into the flick. You run back down and jump onto the beanbag, because you're not going to miss a minute of this. Your brother's doing Norrington's little walk up in front of the guards, but he's walking along the line and running his sword along all their swords, creating a ripple effect. Elizabeth's father looks a bit perplexed, but Elizabeth's just doing her breathless fan thing.   
  
Then the scene changes to that of Jack and the guards of the Interceptor. For once you don't even care about this scene, although usually this would be classic Cap'n Jack humour. You're impatiently yelling at the TV, "Come on! Show my brother!"  
  
Actually, it's probably lucky your parents are out. If your mum walked through the living room right now, she'd probably think you were insane. Or at least take the video away from you.  
  
Now the scene changes once more to the....excellent, the Norrington proposal to Elizabeth. This should be good for a laugh, you think, settling back into the beans.   
  
Your brother's now the one looking perplexed. He shouts "Hello! WAKE UP!" and pinches himself. Elizabeth is a little confused, but covers it brilliantly by fanning herself more vigorously. Your brother now jumps up and down on the spot, shaking his head like you do when you've got water in your ears after swimming. He looks quite hilarious, and his wig is bouncing around on top of his head like he's got a small rabbit trapped up there. Finally he says to Elizabeth, "You know what? This is a dream. Or if it isn't, I'm going to enjoy it and play along anyway. You're hot."  
  
"Yes, I am," Elizabeth says as she fans herself, and you laugh. I don't think he meant it that way, you think to yourself. It'll be interesting to see just how much of the plot your brother remembers. Was it just posturing to say that he didn't watch the movie for its story, much like his Buffy watching? Or did he really not pay any attention? Both ways, you think, it's going to be damn funny, and you scoop up a huge handful of buttered popcorn and put it in your mouth, grinning. 


	2. Only a little push!

AN: Thanks for the great reviews; I didn't expect people to notice or even like this little story! I'm not sure how often I'll be updating the next couple of weeks because of school commitments, so here's something to tide you over!  
  
By the way, thanks for assuring me how I nailed the character of all your brothers. It's based on real life ;)  
  
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The story so far: your brother's been sucked into the movie and is now playing the character of Commodore Norrington; you're watching from the beanbag in front of the TV. He's just told Elizabeth that she's hot, and she's agreed and fanned herself.   
  
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"So..." your brother starts, "Do you come up here a lot, then?" He steers Elizabeth away from the edge. You snort. Great pick-up line, brother.  
  
"Yes," she replies, "I like looking out at the sea. You know that, Commodore Norrington, you've often watched me from the fort."  
  
"Hey! I'm not a pervert!" your brother retorts. "You're the one who stares at Will Turner's arse when you don't think he's looking!"  
  
"I'm not sure that you are quite yourself," Elizabeth says, surprised at your brother's choice of language. She's a canny girl to notice a difference. "Are you feeling well?"  
  
"You're not, are you? I bet that corset's compressing your breathing ability like anything. D'you want me to untie it for you?"  
  
"Commander Norrington, that is quite improper of you to suggest such a thing." She looks befuddled, while your brother is looking around equally as bemused. Elizabeth doesn't hear him whisper to himself, but you do, thanks to a handy close-up:  
  
"What makes this scene end?" Then, to Elizabeth, "How's that pirate medallion going?"  
  
"What?" Elizabeth is on guard. "I don't own any such thing."  
  
"Of course you don't," your brother responds loftily. "You stole it from Will Turner."  
  
She can't even speak but her eyes widen with shock.   
  
"Oh, don't worry. Well, I suppose you should worry, because some pirates are coming to steal it off you as it's the final part of their ancient curse, but you end up with Will anyway, so..." your brother trails off. You can see the various gears turning in his head as he processes the thoughts that you've already been through. What happens if he changes the course of the movie? Will it just end? Will there be new events? Will Elizabeth's knowledge of the medallion be the reason she tries to offer it to Barbossa, because your brother has already mentioned it to her? Are there infinite parallel universes? What's for dinner?  
  
"Commander Norrington, are you sure you're feeling quite well?" Elizabeth really looks quite concerned. Good for her. It looks like a light bulb has gone on behind your brother's eyes, and you can read his mind.  
  
"Hey, Elizabeth," your brother begins, and then reconsiders. "Hey, Miss Swann."  
  
"What?" Elizabeth turns to face him. You start to grin as you realise that you're about to watch your brother propose to someone, but you wonder how he's going to work her falling over the wall when they've walked about twenty metres away from it. Elizabeth fans vigorously.  
  
"So...I was wondering...I mean, it would be cool but I know you're going to say no, but...would it be impossible to imagine you and me, y'know, married?"  
  
Well, that's about the least well thought out proposal ever. He hasn't even got down on one knee. But, you find yourself thinking that it beats Norrington's, the real Norrington's that is. HE didn't even face the girl!  
  
"I'm flattered, Commodore Norrington," Elizabeth fans, "but..." She's looking for an escape. "I may have to take a day or two to consider my reply."  
  
Your brother shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah, OK. I'll see you on the Dauntless." He begins to stroll off, oblivious to the baffled look Elizabeth is directing between his shoulder blades. Then he stops. Ah, you think, he's remembered. Suddenly he turns and walks back towards Elizabeth, grasping her elbow and propelling her towards the edge.   
  
"What are you doing?" she demands breathlessly.   
  
"I'm just going to chuck you over the edge and end this scene," your brother replies calmly. "Stop struggling please. Can't you faint or something?"  
  
Elizabeth is pulling back. "Don't tease me, Commodore Norrington. I don't know what's got into you today, but I don't like it."  
  
They're within a couple of metres of the edge now. "Nah, look, it's really all right. You're not going to hit the rocks, and Jack Sparrow's down there chatting to a couple of my men - he'll jump in and rescue you. Besides, your medallion's got to do its weird 'gloop' sound from under the ocean to call the Black Pearl to town."  
  
Well! It appears your brother has paid some attention to the plot after all! But Elizabeth is looking at him with a puzzled look. "Jack Sparrow? The bloodthirsty pirate Captain Jack Sparrow whom I've read about? He's going to rescue me?"  
  
"Yeah, he's just a big softie really," your brother says matter-of-factly. "I dunno how he ever got the reputation." With that he picks Elizabeth up and in a flurry of skirts tumbles her over the side. She screams on the way down. Your brother turns and leans his back against the battlements of the fort, as two of his men come running up.  
  
"What was that, Commodore?"  
  
"We thought we heard a noise!"  
  
Your brother studies his nails for a moment. No doubt he learnt that insouciant quirk from Jack Sparrow. Then he leans over the side, looks into the water and back at his men.   
  
"Oh dear," he says, cracking a knuckle, "Miss Swann has fallen into the water. We'd better walk around to the dock and pull her out." 


	3. He's mad

AN: Thanks once more for the reviews! I'm going to put a question to you now: do you want to sit on the beanbag, passively watching, or do you want to be in the story as well as your brother? I can do both, but if I put you in, we lose the unique angle. Still, could be more exciting! If you find I'm updating too slowly, wish me luck for my exams as you choke back your impatience :)  
  
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The story so far: your brother is in the movie, playing Norrington while you watch and make comments, most of them sarcastic. He's proposed to Elizabeth (grudgingly), then tipped her over a cliff in order to end a scene. Now he's strolling down to the dock to fish her out.  
  
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You scoop up another handful of popcorn and put it in your mouth. You're shocked that your brother managed to tip Elizabeth over the side of a cliff without anyone noticing - but then he always had that skill of lying through his teeth and looking innocent as hell. Just as your brother predicted, Jack is preparing to dive into the water to rescue Elizabeth. Yep, he's dived in. And here comes your brother to stand on the dock, surrounded by a few of his best men, and the Governor. Jack cuts the corset off Elizabeth.   
  
"Never would have thought of that."  
  
"Clearly, you've never been to Singapore," Jack replies. All heads turn to stare amazed at your brother, Norrington, as he laughs out loud.  
  
"Good one, Jack."  
  
The Governor is amazed. "Am I to understand by this, Commodore Norrington, that you know this man?"  
  
"Yeah, he's Captain Jack Sparrow. I mean, we've never met, but how can you mistake the hair?"  
  
"Then he is a pirate! And you must clap him in arms, Norrington."  
  
Elizabeth steps forward. "Father, I really must protest. I think Commodore Norrington has gone completely mad! He threw me off the walls of the fort into the sea, and if it weren't for this man," she gestures at Jack, "I would have drowned."  
  
"Oh, Elizabeth," your brother shakes his head sorrowfully, "the shock must be too great for you. I noticed you standing precariously near the edge, but I would never, ever, have thrown you in. Governor, I suggest you take Miss Swann home and put her to bed."  
  
Jack finally speaks up. "And if I may be so bold...we've never met, have we?"  
  
He's held on either side by a couple of soldiers. Your brother pauses, a thoughtful look on his face. "Nah, we haven't. I've just heard of you."  
  
Jack brightens visibly. "You have?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Most fearsome pirate in the Spanish Main, permanently intoxicated, drinks any other man under the table. You can come with me back up to the fort, and I'll see whether I can keep up with you in rum shots."  
  
The Governor and Elizabeth are still standing there, their mouths fallen open in attitudes that you can only describe as flabbergasted shock. Finally, Governor Swann clears his throat.   
  
"Do you mean that you're not going to imprison this man?"  
  
"Why should I?" your brother replies. "He saved Elizabeth's - pardon, sorry, Miss Swann's - life. Besides, we're going to need him tomorrow and he might as well sleep in comfort for one night."   
  
Jack smiles brilliantly at the guards. "Nice bloke, your commander."  
  
Your brother finds himself in the centre of a disbelieving circle of open-mouthed soldiers. They're all looking at him with the same expression as Elizabeth's - they think their commander has gone completely cuckoo. He sighs, rolling his eyes.  
  
"I was JUST joking," he says frustratedly. "You know, taking the piss? Pulling your legs? I'm really going to lock him up."  
  
Quick as a flash Jack whips around and places his handcuffs around Elizabeth's neck. "Commodore Norrington, my effects, please, and my hat."  
  
Your brother studies his fingernails - they are getting a looking-to, today - and says casually, "You wouldn't."  
  
Jack stiffens. "Yeah, I would."  
  
"Says who?"  
  
The Governor is shocked. "Norrington, that is my daughter he has in a stranglehold!"  
  
"I know all about Captain Jack Sparrow, Guv," your brother says. "He's not going to kill her, even if I give him back his pistol, like this."   
  
Matching his actions with his words, your brother passes Jack his gun.   
  
"There's only one bullet in there - am I right, Jack? - and it's got a man's name on it, that isn't Swann."  
  
Jack's eyes widen so far that it's a miracle the kohl doesn't rub off. "How -"  
  
"His name is-"  
  
"In the name of hell-"  
  
"Bar -"  
  
"Do you know-"  
  
"Boss -"  
  
"About Barboss-"  
  
"A!"  
  
Your brother winks at Jack. "Oh, I know a lot about you, Jack Sparrow. Now stick your tattooed arms out for the handcuffs and come quietly."  
  
Clearly confused, Jack complies. Damn! You think. That means that he's going to go straight to the gaol, and not meet Will on the way. Ah well, they've plenty of opportunities to meet later. The scene changes to the gaol, where Jack taunts the other prisoners. Then it's time for that boring scene with Elizabeth and the housemaid, or so you think...turns out, like most of the flick so far, your brother's influence pervades this scene as well!  
  
The maid begins. "It was a difficult day for you, I'm sure."  
  
Elizabeth nods her head fervently. "Estrella, I'm positive the commodore is nursing a brain injury or something. He's acted completely differently the whole of today."  
  
"I 'eard about his strange behaviour down at the docks."  
  
"I suspected he would propose, but not that he'd throw me off a cliff."  
  
The housemaid straightens from where she was bending, fixing Elizabeth's bed curtains. "Are you sure, miss, that you yourself aren't a little touched by today's events?"  
  
"How many times do I have to tell everybody? Commodore Norrington," Elizabeth spits out, "threw me off the BLOODY FORT!"  
  
"Miss! That's hardly proper language for a lady!"  
  
"Well, I'm not entirely sure that I want to be a lady, if my word is disbelieved for that of a madman. I'm telling you, Estrella, Norrington is cracked."  
  
The housemaid wisely decides to change tack. "So he proposed, did he?"  
  
"What? Oh, yes. I don't know what I'm going to do about that."  
  
"Tis a smart match, miss, if it's not too bold to say."  
  
"Yes," Elizabeth says bitterly, "if I wanted to raise a family of insane children."  
  
"Oh, but that Will Turner, he's a smart match too," Estrella quickly adds. That's right, you think, steer clear of the touchy topic.  
  
"You think?" Elizabeth says eagerly, then, remembering herself: "That IS too bold."  
  
Meanwhile, your brother is walking with the Governor on the top of the fort.   
  
"Look mate, she hasn't given me an answer yet, but I'm quietly confident, you know what I'm saying?"  
  
"Yes, well, she has had a trying day." Understatement of the century, you think. And it's only going to get more exciting. "Ghastly weather, don't you think?"  
  
Your brother goggles at the Governor. Then he remembers he has to answer. "Um, yeah...terrible."  
  
Just then the cannon fire from the Pearl breaks out. Your brother says quickly, "Governor, go and barricade yourself in the fort." He begins to head off.  
  
"Why? Where are you going?"   
  
"I'm going to the cells, to speak with Jack Sparrow. This is the Black Pearl, come to bombard Port Royal. I want you to get out of sight."  
  
And with that, your brother is gone. The Governor stares after his retreating back a short while, and then speaks to himself.  
  
"How did he know which ship it was?" 


	4. Rum

AN: I wondered whether I should put this up yet - I mean, I only updated yesterday and it might be overkill - but then I thought, look - they won't be getting any chapters next week (well, probably not), just do it. So I have updated! You still have to tell me whether you want to be in the story or not: I've got one vote so far, for yes, but later. That would be good. Oh, and the way I see you come in to the film...you won't be Anamaria. (Evil chuckle.)  
  
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The story so far: your brother has been sucked into the flick and is now Norrington. You watch. The Black Pearl has begun its attack on the town; Elizabeth is (understandably) confused about Norrington's behaviour after he threw her off the fort cliff; Jack's in gaol.  
  
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You've been wondering (in between munching handfuls of popcorn) whether your brother's actions would change the course of the whole movie, or just the scenes he was in. Here's your chance to find out: your brother's just mentioned to the Governor that he's going to go and visit Jack Sparrow in gaol. However, the next scene you see is the street. Will Turner is busy staring at the chaos erupting in the streets when your brother rocks up on his way to the gaol.   
  
"Will!" Your brother calls. "TURNER!"  
  
Will turns. "Commodore Norrington! What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well, I realised on my way to see Jack Sparrow that you haven't had a chance to meet him, on account of the way I captured him against the grain of the movie, and I just want you to know that he used to be captain of the Black Pearl and knows the new captain, 'cause otherwise you won't go and visit him tomorrow. Got that? I've got to go to the gaol."  
  
He leaves Will standing with his mouth open in the street (and about to get brained by a brawny pirate) and sure enough, the next thing you see on the screen is Jack Sparrow watching the other inmates escape through the bloody great hole the Black Pearl has blown in the wall. He grabs the bone and bangs it against the side of the cell, calling for the dog. You sigh; you've seen this before. You want to see something new - basically you want to see your brother muck something up.  
  
"It's just you and me now..." Jack curses in frustration as the dog scampers away.   
  
"Nah, it's not, Jack. I'm here too." The unmistakeable voice of your brother echoes in the damp cells. You think quickly. Does your brother realise that two pirates from the Pearl are about to come down those steps?  
  
"Oh, you," Jack says suspiciously. "Come to gloat, then?"  
  
"Just to talk," your brother replies. "I'm just going to pop down here for a sec, though, 'cause a couple of your mates from the Black Pearl are about to come down the steps here."  
  
Oh. That settles that. Your brother vanishes into the gloom of the cells as Jack talks to the two pirates. When they've gone, your brother steps out again.  
  
"Sort of creepier when you're in it," he muses with a shiver.  
  
You lean a little closer to the television. Does it look like - yes, your brother is officially freaked out by the skeletons!   
  
"Did you know about the curse?" Jack says abruptly.   
  
"Yeah. Did you?"   
  
"You might say I had heard a rumour."  
  
"Jack, you're a bit of a ladies man, aren't you?" You have absolutely no idea what tack your brother is trying now.  
  
"I have a bit of a reputation in that area," Jack says with a frown. "Why?"  
  
"What do you reckon chicks think about a guy who pushes them off a cliff?"  
  
Jack laughs disbelievingly. "You actually did it? I thought the lovely Miss Swann was a little traumatised from her ordeal!"  
  
"Yes, well," your brother makes a gesture which roughly translates to 'and we're over that now', "it was the best thing to do at the time."  
  
"I don't know if you'd be in her good books, mate." Jack smirks. "They generally prefer men who, for want of a better word, woo."  
  
Your brother cracks into a grin. "Like you wooed Scarlett, and Giselle, then?"  
  
Jack starts. "How...? You know a lot more about me than I really want, but for your information, my women are a different breed to your ladies, savvy? And don't you have better things to do, like protecting the fort etcetera from bloodthirsty pirates? You going to stay here all night?"  
  
"Yeah," your brother replies nonchalantly. "Elizabeth's been captured by Barbossa, and Will Turner - you might remember him as Bootstrap Bill's son - is going to come and break you out so that you can lead him to some island with a ridiculous name and rescue her. And I want to come too. I won't get in the way."  
  
Jack's eyes widen at this information. "Bootstrap Bill's son? That's interesting..."  
  
Your brother stops a moment. You can clearly hear him muttering to himself, though it's debatable whether Jack can, such is the power of the medium. Basically, it's an argument based on the logic of staying in the gaol versus being at the table with the maps the next morning, to steer Will towards the gaol. The table wins.   
  
"Jack, I've got to go, but I'll be back next morning. Don't go on the adventure without me," your brother points at Jack, "or else."  
  
"Or else what?"  
  
"Or else, I don't give you this bottle of rum that I brought down for you to while the hours away with."  
  
You've got to give all credit where it's due to your brother. He's really thought this one through. As he passes the bottle through the bars to Jack, he gets his reply.  
  
"I don't care what I've heard about you, Norrington," Jack says with a grin as he caresses the bottle, "you're a top bloke. And I'll be rooting for you to get the girl."  
  
Your brother grins back. "See you tomorrow, mate."  
  
You nearly choke on your popcorn. Norrington and Jack, bonding over rum. Now you've seen it all. 


	5. The three musketeers

AN: Had my first maths exam today, didn't want to cram for the next afterwards. So I wrote this chapter instead. FYI, exam went ok - rushed for time, but hey, ain't it always like that? I'll keep you posted around results time :). Reviews ALWAYS appreciated...you know I love you. By the way, it's only a couple of chapters away before I need the final word on whether you want to be in the story or keep watching from the beanbag!  
  
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Story so far: Your brother and Jack have bonded over alcohol. Elizabeth is gone, kidnapped. You've watched your brother get confused over the immense plot/logic holes he's in the act of creating, and try to patch things up. Oh, and most of Port Royal thinks that either he or Elizabeth is lying/crazy about her being pushed off the fort wall.  
  
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Do you know what? You're getting quite jealous, really, of your brother. He's getting to prance around in a movie that YOU love, making friends with the characters that YOU want to make friends with...you roll your eyes and eat some more popcorn. Yuck. Even the buttery popcorn isn't that nice any more. You hiccup a little and push the bowl away, out of reach of the beanbag. You've had quite enough of that, thankyou. You turn back to the TV. Your brother is unfurling his maps at a table, and you note to your surprise that the scene featuring Elizabeth and the pirates who kidnap her hasn't been shown. You suppose it was because your brother's presence has changed the movie in some way. Come to think of it, it might have been there, but a lot shorter. You got a bit abstracted in your envy, so it's entirely possible that the scene could have been there.   
  
"They've taken her," Will shouts at your brother. "They've taken Elizabeth, and you knew about it!"  
  
"Come now, Mr Turner, that is patently untrue," the Governor says firmly. "How on earth could Commodore Norrington have known that pirates were going to attack the town last night?"  
  
Your brother straightens up, and you see that all he's been doing is drawing spirals on the map in front of him. Typical.  
  
"Do you know who might know something about this?" your brother says, looking straight at Will. "If only we could talk to...a pirate," he winks, "...who knows all about the Black Pearl and where it makes berth."  
  
Will's mouth falls open in recognition. "You told me this last night! Then I went down, as if someone had hit me on the back of the head."  
  
Your brother breathes a long sigh of frustration. "That's because you DID get hit on the back of the head, you dipshit."  
  
On the shocked looks of the people around him - who knew that a commander of the army could swear? - your brother quickly amends this last word to 'galah'. Yeah, well done, you think. Now everyone's going to be confused as to why you're calling Will Turner an Australian bird's name. Has Australia even been discovered by the British yet, brother? No. Dipshit. Stay away from the Aussie slang. Your grandma calls people galahs anyway - it's not exactly a quality insult.  
  
Your (wandering) attention returns to the screen, as Will picks up the conversation from whence it stalled after 'galah'.   
  
"I'm going to the gaol, Norrington, to speak with Sparrow."  
  
You next see your brother accompanying Will down the steps into the cells of the Port Royal gaol. Jack raises his (empty) rum bottle in salute and says with a slur, "It's the famous Commodore and the equally famous William Turner come to pay the astronomically famous Captain Jack Sparrow a visit!"  
  
Wow. Who knew that after consuming an entire bottle of rum, he would get through that sentence without pause for breath. Tolerates alcohol quite well, Jack does. Your brother opens his mouth to speak but before he does, Will gets there first.   
  
"How do you know my name?" he says with his most menacing voice (hardly scary).  
  
Your brother steps in, matter-of-factly. "That was me, sorry. I told him about you yesterday."  
  
There's silence in the gaol. The three people on screen look at each other, the ceiling...the floor...their fingernails (Jack and your brother)... but don't talk, until finally even you are ready to scream in frustration. Luckily, your brother has an attention span quite as short as yours. He digs Will in the ribs, and hisses, "Ask him about the Black Pearl."  
  
"Oh! Yes," Will replies then turns to Jack. "Are you familiar with that ship, the Black Pearl?"  
  
"I've heard of it."  
  
"Where does it make berth?"  
  
"Where does it make berth? Have you not heard the stories? Captain Barbossa and his crew of miscreants sailed from the dreaded Isla de Muerta. It's an island that cannot be found except by those who already know where it is."  
  
Watching your brother's face, you can see that he's clearly bored. Like you, he's already heard the spiel. He claps his hands together in a Jackesque gesture.  
  
"Okay..." he begins with a grin. "Now we're all introduced, let's cut to the chase. Jack, Will's going to break you out so that you can lead us to the Black Pearl. Incidentally, you'll have the chance to kill Barbossa and get your ship back as well as a night's stay on a secluded desert island with plenty of rum. Whaddaya say?"  
  
Jack doesn't reply immediately, while Will is incapable of speech. Your brother adds, looking at each of them in turn: "Yes, in case you were wondering, Will Turner IS named for his father, and Jack WILL help you get Elizabeth back."  
  
"Don't you like Miss Swann too?" Jack offers helpfully. Your brother makes a throat cutting gesture behind Will's back and Jack gets the hint. As Will turns suspiciously, your brother smiles weakly and waves hello.  
  
Suddenly it appears as though Will has made up his mind (about bloody time!) and he wrenches the doors off with the help of 'leverage'. Jack picks up his things and the three unlikely companions leave the cells.   
  
"We're going to steal a ship," Will says unbelievingly. "That ship?"  
  
Your brother jumps in before Jack can. "Commandeer. Nautical term."   
  
For this he gets a strange look from Jack, but he's fed up with the passive role he's been playing for the last couple of scenes. He jerks his thumb at one of the dinghies lying on the beach. "We could use that to get out to one of the ships."  
  
"Remind me again why we're not just using your power as Commander of the forces here in Port Royal to sail after Barbossa in one of the Navy's ships."  
  
My, Jack is astute. Your brother had been blindly following the plot, not realising that he had some power due to his character. You betcha he hadn't thought of that.   
  
"Jack, mate...what would we look like sailing into Tortuga in a Navy boat with half the Royal Army on board? Your pirate mates would shoot us to the bottom as soon as they saw us!"  
  
Okay, so maybe he'd thought about it a little. But not too much - "Why do we have to go to Tortuga?" Will asks.  
  
"Rum! Women! A crew!"  
  
"But if we had the army to sail the boat..." Will trails off. Looking at the faces of Jack and your brother, you have to agree with him. He's on the losing end of the argument.  
  
"I can't just rock up with Jack Sparrow in tow and request a boat," your brother says. "But I have got an idea as to how we get that boat sailing."  
  
The next scene, you see Jack and Will under the boat paddling out to the Dauntless. Where's your brother? What nefarious scheme has he thought up to explain away his absence?   
  
AN: You'll have to find out a little later, as you press pause on the remote... 


	6. Norro

AN: Let's unpause the movie! An update! Really, procrastination from studying, but in the end it's the same diff, yeah? Love your reviews, keep em coming! And don't forget...cast your vote if you haven't already. I've answered a couple of reviews in my profile but I love you all, never fear (just answered the ones that have questions).  
  
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Last time, on POTC: Jack, your brother and Will have joined forces to defeat the Matrix once and for all, while gaining the One Ring in the process. Nah, not really, but at this stage, does it really matter what came before? Your brother is Norrington. You watch the movie with that one vital difference.  
  
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Your brother barks his orders. "Men! I want to see all hands on the Interceptor, immediately! Captain Jack Sparrow is trying to steal the Dauntless, I need all hands on deck!"  
  
Well. This is a scene that's unfamiliar to you. As the army/navy/whoever the hell they are run around like ants on the Interceptor, your brother walks up the gangplank and the ship starts to move off. When they come level with the Dauntless, your brother yells for the army to board the ship. But what's this? He himself isn't moving a muscle, still standing rooted to the deck of the Interceptor in one position. A couple of the men who are last to board the Dauntless turn around and stare at him uncertainly from her decks.  
  
"Are you coming, sir?" they shout, confused as to his lack of movement.  
  
"Of course I am," your brother yells, "can't you see that I'm right behind you?"  
  
He nods at the bow of the Dauntless, and two figures swing down on ropes: Jack and Will. Jack sweeps his hat off in a low bow, and Will waves merrily to the befuddled crew stuck aboard the Dauntless. A random naval officer - you don't know his name, and don't care enough to look it up in the credits - stares at your brother, mouth agape.  
  
"Commodore Norrington, have you gone berserk? That there's the pirate captain!" he shouts, shocked beyond disbelief.  
  
"Oh, so it is," replies your brother unconcernedly. "Whoops. I may have inadvertently helped him to steal the ship. He must be one of the best pirates I've ever heard of."  
  
Jack preens at this last comment, while Will rolls his eyes. Far away, in another time and place, you roll your eyes too. Your brother was sneaky enough to be included in this voyage. He got the ship going - good for him. You are so jealous that you don't even want to appreciate how smart your brother has been so far. If you'd been stuck in the movie, you have no doubt you would have accidentally got yourself killed in the raid on Port Royal, or worse, but you don't want to give Ihim/I the credit - oh no. As the Interceptor leaves land far behind, your brother pops down to the galley to see what food's on offer. Typical teenage boy, he can't last an hour without stuffing his face. He brings some bread and wine up on deck - apparently his alter ego Norrington keeps the ship well stocked - and sits on a barrel up on the bridge to enjoy it.  
  
Will approaches Jack and your brother with a determined look on his face. "I'm not a simpleton, Jack. You knew my father."  
  
"So did I," your brother says through a mouthful.  
  
Jack looks at your brother. "Did you now?"  
  
"Bootstrap Bill?" your brother pauses, and then swallows his bread. "Nah, I didn't know him. Just pulling your leg." He tears off another chunk.  
  
"Who is Bootstrap Bill?" Will demands. "He sounds like a pirate."  
  
"Well, he is. And he's your dad, so get used to it mate," your brother says.  
  
Jack winks. "I swear you look just like him."  
  
"My father was Inot/I a pirate." Will pulls out his sword. You think that he is far too eager to fight, and also hope that your brother, whose only experience of fighting with a sword was when he owned a plastic one that came with flashing lights and swoopy noises, doesn't bother challenging him to a fight. You know, he is your brother after all.   
  
"Oh, for crying out loud." Your brother takes a swig of his wine. "Give it a rest."  
  
Will swings his sword at your brother. "What would you know, Norrington? You barely even know what's going on in the world outside that wig of yours."  
  
Your brother reaches up to feel at his head. "My God, you're right, I'm wearing a wig." He pulls it off and chucks it overboard, then takes off about six layers of clothing till he's down to his shirtsleeves. "Much better. Thanks, Will."  
  
Actually, you're surprised it took him that long to take the coat off, considering in the middle of winter he used to walk around the house with shorts on.   
  
"No...problem," Will says uncertainly. Then he turns to Jack, who has been watching the entire proceedings with a grin, and threatens him with the sword. "My father was not a pirate!"  
  
"And mine wasn't a merchant banker, but we've all got problems," Jack replies. "Can you sail under my command to find your lovely lass or do you want me to take you home to your mother? We can't sail this ship," gestures at your brother and himself, "all by our twosies."  
  
"Twosies," Will repeats incredulously, then: "My mother's dead."  
  
"Fine, then you shall stay. But pirate is in your blood, boy, and you'll realise that one day, soon enough."  
  
"Soon enough, ya tosser," your brother says with a smile. "Are we going to sail into Tortuga, Jack?"  
  
"We'll be there soon enough, Norrington mate," Jack says as he reaches for the wine bottle your brother is holding.  
  
"I need a better name. How about Nozza, or Norro?"  
  
You don't believe it. Your brother is asking for a nickname. Why doesn't he just use his own first name? Then you realise...he doesn't know what Norrington's first name is, and can't risk Will giving him a strange look as he announces that his name is George when it's Jim, or whatever. Still, he seems a bit of a tool asking for a nickname.  
  
Jack looks at Will. "I like Nozza, what do you reckon?"  
  
"What about Norrie?"  
  
Jack and your brother both sigh in exasperation. "Well, Iyeah/I, if you want him to sound like a Igirl/I"  
  
"Norro?"  
  
"Norro's good for me, is it good for you?"  
  
"Yeah, I quite like it."  
  
"Yeah, all right," your brother says. "Call me Norro."  
  
He borrows a knife from Jack and begins to cut off the bottom of his trousers. You clap one hand on your head as you realise he's introducing shorts into the uniform of the Royal Navy.  
  
AN: next time: Tortuga! 


	7. Tortuga

AN: Well, I'm sorry this has taken so long, but life got in the way :) Anyway, I got my results for Year 12 on Monday. I know that isn't really an excuse for not updating, but I have been at work every day since Dec 3rd, and I'm only human! Would you like to know my results? I'm extremely proud of them. I didn't get below an A in any subject, and my ENTER turned out to be 98.85! That's enough to get into any course really, except law and medicine and I didn't want to do them anyway! For those who have no idea what an ENTER is, this website may help: www.vtac.edu.au, but basically it's a percentage ranking. I'm in the top 1.15% of my state. All that procrastination on ff.net really paid off! Merry Christmas to everyone!  
  
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"So," your brother says, "this is Tortuga."  
  
You watch as the three companions, your brother, Jack and Will stroll through some very dirty streets. Jack looks positively in his element, while Will looks a little uneasy. You know exactly what your brother is thinking: his dreams have come true! Booze, chicks, and no parents to tell him to go to bed so that he can wake up in time for school tomorrow. He wanders through the street with a beaming face, turning his head from side to side so that he doesn't miss seeing anything.   
  
"I tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," Jack says with a grin on his face.  
  
You know what's going to happen next. Slap! And slap! They have to have stung, you think, as the two prostitutes flounce away from Jack.  
  
"Ow, that must have caned," 'Norro' says sympathetically. (Your brother thinks the same way you do.)  
  
Will looks at your brother strangely. "Your speech has been different to the usual today, Commodore Norrington. Are you quite sure you are feeling well?"  
  
"Can't you understand me, mofo?" Your brother puts his hands into a mocking gangster rap pose, beloved of sarcastic posers around the world. He succeeds in bamboozling Will even more, but such was the effect he was after, you suspect. Your brother, like most Australians, gets a little annoyed when nobody else in the world understands his slang, yet he is expected to be able to work out what weird things like BLTs and baloney are in books from the context. Obviously he is wrong to expect Will to understand him, but he gets defensive over things like this. You predict he'll probably end up doing linguistics at uni.  
  
"It hurt a lot, if that's what you mean," Jack says peaceably. His hand moves from his cheek to his heart, and he says with irony in his eyes, "It hurt me here most of all."  
  
"Suuuuuuuuure it did, Jack."  
  
Jack wakes Gibbs with a pail of water, and then Will throws another bucket over him. After that, your brother steps forward with another pail, but Jack puts a hand on his arm. "That'll about do it, Norro."  
  
"What in the name of - Jack, can you tell me why you brought the commander of the bloody fleet along wi' you today?" Gibbs splutters, dripping.  
  
Jack shrugs. "He asked to come."  
  
They all look at your brother, who is poking around in the corner of the shed that Gibbs was lying in. He looks up.  
  
"Did you know you were sleeping on manure?"  
  
Gibbs sighs. "I was aware o' that, yes."  
  
"Great! Let's go drinking then!"  
  
You sigh. Your brother is going to get very, very drunk in the next scene. You know it now. He's only ever had rum and cokes at parties and he's always had to buy them himself so he hasn't really been able to afford to get drunk yet. He is only sixteen, after all. It'll be two years before his friends pay him to drive down to the bottle-o and get them their grog.  
  
As they walk into the tavern, Jack grasps your brother by the shoulder and pulls his head in close to him.   
  
"Keep his nibs away from us for a bit, Norro," he says while gesturing at Will. "Get him drunk or something, amuse him. I've got some business to do."  
  
"Going to use him as leverage then, Jack?"  
  
"What - how did - never mind, just do it," Jack gets out as he leaves your brother with Will by the bar and goes to sit at a table with Gibbs.  
  
Your brother looks at Will. "My shout."  
  
Several rounds of beers later, you have to admit this makes for quite boring telly. I mean, while it is fascinating to watch your brother go through the stages of drunkenness - at the moment he is draped over Will's arm and they are declaring their undying love for each other and for Elizabeth - you'd like the movie to, well, get on a bit more. Jack and Gibbs are still talking in the background as your brother turns to Will.  
  
"Will, mate," he slurs drunkenly and then appears to forget how to finish the sentence.  
  
"Yes, Norro, mate?"  
  
"Mate..."  
  
"Yes, chum?"  
  
"Mate, Jack's going to sell you out to Barbossa."  
  
"What?" Will says blearily. "Why would he do that...he's a good mate."  
  
"Yeah, he is...he's a good mate."  
  
"Top mate."  
  
You roll your eyes. Apparently Will has been soaking up the laconic Aussie vocabulary and has managed to add the one word to his own. Mate. And he's using it constantly, and not in a siiiiiiiiiiiick mate kind of way, either.  
  
"Because you're a lever, mate."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're a lever. Push, pull, push, pull. He said so."  
  
"But I'm not a lever...a lever is a tool."  
  
Your brother grins with the strength of the pun he's about to make. "You Iare/I a tool, mate."  
  
They both laugh and Will falls off his chair with a thump on to the ground. It appears your brother has already made it to the ground, and he lolls there looking up at Jack and Gibbs who have appeared over their heads. You're not sure who's choosing the camera angles you're viewing, but the angle you've got right now appears to be Drunk!Cam. It's making you quite queasy as the camera wobbles from side to side and your head tries to follow, almost as if you were there on the floor yourself.  
  
"We'd better put these two to bed," Gibbs says, looking slightly the worse for wear himself.   
  
Jack agrees, nodding his head. "We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow." 


End file.
